Why I like this time of year…

Despite the hectic and frenzied race to the mall by some or the type budgets of others (or all from my perspective), I truly like this time of year for a few reasons.   Some are more meaningful than others, but when I take them all together, my heart sings with happiness.

• Community – there is just so much togetherness in the community.  So many opportunities to share, spend time with our families and friends, and be loving.  This is not an isolated feeling that only comes around at this time. But I do feel it more amplified than I would normally feel all year long. It is a time when most of us can just stop on a day of our choosing.  It may be Christmas or it may be another day for those that work on that day (nurses, police officers, firefighters, etc.). The day selected is not important, but the honoring of the day is.  I feel the warmth of caring from so many as everyone takes that extra moment to share their hearts.
• Gratitude – this is probably relative to community. However, the gratitude and appreciation that comes from giving to a charity, a friend, or a family member is such a lovely feeling.  We all feel so grateful what life has brought us, no matter the circumstances we currently find ourselves, and want to share this with those that have helped us make our life work.  We do this throughout the year; this I believe. But I also believe that this extra moment of togetherness really lets this feeling shine through.
• Cartoons – ok, this one probably make you take a second look. Or even wonder if I was serious. But I am. There are so many holiday cartoons that express the meaning of Christmas, the meaning of giving to others. I cannot be thankful every time I see them. It is my annual tradition and could not imagine a holiday without Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, and many others. I am sure kids today find them dated and old-fashioned, but they bring me smiles.  And I can’t go without Miracle on 34th Street (the original, black and white version).  All of these have the ability to make me cry (Frosty especially), even after all these years!
• Snow – as you can tell from the cartoons, I am still a little kid at heart.  I still wish for a white Christmas.  And every time the weather person calls for snow, I am giddy with excitement. Just plain giddy.  I never get tired of it. I never wish for the spring.  I want the snow each every time it’s predicted. I love the white noise, the sledding, and most of all, seeing snowmen in the front yards of my neighbor’s yards.  I believe there is magic in snow (there’s that Frosty theme again) and can watch it fall for hours, as if it were movie that lasted for hours. It captivates me.

But more than anything all, I like this time of year because of the love and caring of the world.  There is so much to be thankful for and so much to appreciate.  And after giving thanks at Thanksgiving, Christmas carries this message even further.  There have been times that I have just smiled to myself and said “I’m happy”. I hope you can say the same!

Tis the season …

This can be such a lovely time of year. It can also be a tough one. It is very hard for me to hear stories that show the sadness of what the economy has done.  I was horrified to hear about the person who posted on Craigslist and when the persons came to pick up what they had purchased, they decided to rob the seller instead. I understand we are all having a hard time. I know I have been and using every penny I find in the car or couch is not an understatement. But I find hurting others like this, who are no better off than you, is hard for me to stomach.

But I have seen other acts of kindness that make my heart warm again.  A colleague at work collects toys and clothes for Project Homeless Connect here in Omaha. He will have a big togetherness for all in the Civic Auditorium and bring much happiness and joy to so many. This is an incredibly selfless act and makes me truly appreciate the human spirit.  We have done much in my workplace for the food bank when so many more this year are hurting and just want to have a meal.

I think there many of us doing all we can. The only challenge is that many of us are hurting in our own ways too.  I see so many people trying to sell personal items to make some extra money to buy food, pay bills, let alone get a little something for their kids.  I know that I have personally feel like I am coasting on fumes until the first business day of the New Year, or payday. Once a month paydays are very tough for me after all the bills are paid in the first week, especially when I want to give money to all the pet charities, the bell ringers, the Food Bank, the shelters, and. Well I could go on. I have a stack of mail from needy charities and I want to give to every single one.  I hope the new year brings many things to all. But more than anything, I hope it brings peace of mind and heart to each and every one of us.

Heartfelt

I just read this amazing quote that I wanted to share. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller.  I have had a few profound experiences like this lately in which I was not able to put into words how I felt.  Sure this can be true when talking about love, but that wasn’t my topic the other day.

I felt like Jodie Foster’s character in the movie Contact in which she is in the cosmos seeing the beauty of it all and she remarks that they should have sent a poet because she didn’t know how to describe how amazing everything looked to her.  Well, that happened to me recently in which I was touched by a friend’s heart with regard to an issue I was chatting about with her.  Right now, my gratitude overfloweth.  Do you ever have those moments?

Happiness

There has been a lot of talk about happiness lately.  One night on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson, he shared a study that indicated that as women age they get unhappier, while the reverse is true for men.  It was stated that women concentrate on career and having a family and once that is essentially behind them, they become unhappier as life goes by.  I have heard of studies that indicate men are happier being married, while the reverse is true for women.   Researchers have been looking at country happiness and the US was not the happiest of them all.  I state this not to agree or disagree (though I disagree that I am getting unhappier as I get older – it’s been quite the opposite).

For more than three years now, I have really been soaking up research, articles, books, blogs, interviews about positive psychology, happiness, courage, and resiliency.  It’s been a fascinating journey for me.  As someone who has been to therapists for various reasons (after college, after my divorce, etc.), I have spent plenty of time looking back.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking back to understand your present, but eventually you need to start looking forward.  Positive psychology has been that catalyst that has assisted me in looking forward and is what took me into coaching.  It is my calling and I never would have found it without changing my perspective.

I hope you are on a quest toward something – it’s one of the healthiest and happiest ways you can be.  To be a searcher, a learner, a discoverer of your own life is a real motivator. If you are interested in learning more about Happiness Clubs in your area, click here. If you are in the Omaha, Nebraska area, join me.

One can never say enough about Appreciation

Mother Teresa once said, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

I think this is such a powerful statement because appreciation and gratitude is such a powerful tool, and when people are appreciated, it brings about a huge sense of accomplishment, value, power, and happiness to their life.

The great part about appreciating others is that it’s so easy!

So, who have you appreciated today?

I’d like to encourage you to think about who you have (or haven’t) appreciated lately. Take just a minute or two to write people’s names down…and the next time you see them, make a point to appreciate them for the blessings they bring to your life.

I know I make this point frequently and Jack Canfield probably reaches more than I ever will in my lifetime, but that doesn’t make the message that less important for today and tomorrow!

So, who have you appreciated today?

 

The No Impact Man

Have you heard of this book? This blog? This guy?  Well, now you have!  Check it out.

The book was a great read but more than that, I really appreciated Colin’s honesty about this project.  It definitely makes you look within and see how you are living your own life.  I was impressed in so many ways and shocked too.  I dog-eared a ton of pages and it had a profound impact on me.  I hope you will read the book or check out the blog. Or even go see the documentary from their yearlong journey.

His wife and child also participated and to read his wife’s perspective on this via a column in Business Week (reposted on his blog) was also brutally honest about her life and the changes this yearlong experiment had on her as well.

I am sure some of you wonder about my latest movies and books. Between Food Inc., Better Off, and now The No Impact Man, you would consider me a very organic, vegetarian, of the earth kind of person. Well, I am trying to be. I don’t often eat meat and never cook it.  I do wish to be more reliant on farmers markets and other similar farm options year over year.  I think it takes each of us to make adjustments and just keep making them.

“Out”ing of another kind

I was passively listening to Good Morning America last week while I was getting ready for work and heard Glenn Close talk about her sister’s mental illness. The interviewer, I have no idea who it was, asked Glenn how she felt about being “outed” for her sister’s mental illness.  Are you kidding me? This is a horrible way to perpetuate the idea that having a mental illness of any kind is something to be ashamed of, hidden, and never discussed.  Tom Cruise started this firestorm when he attacked Matt Lauer about postpartum depression indicating it as a non-entity (many new moms loudly disagreed and thank you for doing so). And now we have someone on Good Morning America indicating its shameful to share if you have depression, anxiety, or anything similar and if you do, you shouldn’t have.

Why all the labels and their negative connotations? I have talked about labeling before, though more from a personality assessment perspective, but this really bothers me.  Why is it bad that someone has anxiety or depression?  There are many types of depression (and anxiety too) by the way but most think of clinical depression. That is one, but there is also situational depression.  When I think about situational depression, I think about the book Eat, Pray, Love. The main character ends up going on a yearlong adventure to escape, cleanse, and become whole again after a particularly ugly divorce.  This is not a bad thing. Something and someone she believed in died, in a sense, and she is sad and mourning that loss.

I have had my own bouts with depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive behavior. I am not, nor will I ever be, ashamed or embarrassed that I have been through these states and sought help from them.  In fact the times when I felt shy about it when I have shared this and gotten the pity look, like I was now irrevocably broken.  I was not as open to getting the helps I needed. But as you get older, you want resolutions, you want help, you want answers.  I was insightful enough about myself to realize things weren’t working quite like I wanted and even sometimes even saw what I was doing that I wished I was not. But I could never quite make the changes needed or make them stick for longer than a second or two.  I needed help to change my mindset and my behaviors and I thank the wonderful people who have helped me on my journey back to me. I have often shared how seeking help gave me the ability to take what I knew about myself and dig deeper within to move forward.  And this from someone who rarely asks for help!!

Don’t always listen to those in the media or “out there” in the world. Sometimes, they aren’t right. Sometimes they are. You have a right to make up your own mind to agree or disagree.  Alcoholism, cancer, anorexia, mental illness, and more. None need be a dirty word.

To Kindle or Not to Kindle – Follow-up

I first became aware of Amazon’s Kindle in April of 2008. I explored it and thought it was interesting.  I considered it but thought it was too early to make a buy and held off. I reconsidered again in March of 2009 (both times blogging about it).  I went back and forth based on feedback from those that did have it and even looked at some of the upcoming purchases I wanted to make to see if it was offered on the Kindle. I again held off.

Well, Amazon has had a few new iterations since then and the price has come down considerably. I have looked up numerous books I would like to read, old and new. There are classics that are free to download – how cool – and many books on my wish list now on Kindle.  Despite already making plans to mark my 40th in a very unique and substantial way, I decided to purchase this as a combo birthday present (another one!) and Christmas gift.

Do you have one? Are you happy with your purchase?  Mine is charging as we speak. I have downloaded a number of literature classics I haven’t read in a long time as well as one on the bestseller list.  I noticed that some of my textbooks could also be downloaded at a ridiculous savings over the hardback.  What a way to spend a snowy afternoon in Omaha!

The enormity of your job

Do you ever think about the impact you have in your organization? Usually you hear about employee’s not feeling appreciated or valued by their boss or their organization as a whole.  But on the other hand, do you take the time to reflect on the impact you have on others?

Lately, I have been thinking about this a lot. The enormity of my job has really got me thinking lately.  I have thought of this in my beginning days as a business coach but ultimately, I came to realize I was the catalyst and the answers or resolutions came from the person and not from me. I still feel responsible but don’t feel the weight on my shoulders quite as much as I used to.

However, as a professor, I think about this more and more. I have been developing a degree program and recently, classes started.  With 34 students, I feel a great responsibility to each of them to ensure they are learning, applying principles, and gaining the tools needed to be even more successive after the program ends. It’s an incredible pressure that I have on myself and feel the enormity of my impact to the students as an instructor. But also, in the near future, with the adjunct instructors that will also begin teaching in the program.

However, I am not unique just because I am an instructor.  Many persons in the workplace manage others and the impact of their management skills, coaching ability and feedback on their staff are just as important and just as impactful as anything I do. As a manager, do you feel the enormity of your job and how you impact each person on your team?

Customer Service Week

It’s Customer Service Week.  Have you thanked your customer’s yet?  They could be internal, external, near or far.  We all have customers.  Let them know that you appreciate them. Because deep down, don’t we all want to feel appreciated and valued?