Nice does not = Weak

July 11, 2008 at 10:26 pm 2 comments

I am frequently amazed at the number of people who believe that just because a person is nice it means they are weak.  Weak meaning she can be taken advantage of, manipulated, taken for granted, or used.  Nice is not the equivalent to stupidity, or slowness, but that is apparently how some view nice people.

I have noticed this most within the workplace.  If you are nice, others believe they can stab you in the back, walk all over you, take credit for your ideas, malign you, and in general, just dump all over you.  Because if you are nice, it must mean that you are not interested in getting ahead, learning new skills, or wanting more for yourself.  Nope, if you are nice, then by all means, when I partner and collaborate with you, use the information to your advantage and then throw me under a Greyhound.

I don’t think the very old saying “the meek shall inherit the earth” is for naught.  There is a reason niceness pays. Not to get things, mind you, but to gain things such as love, peace, happiness, and contentment.  The persons who I coach the longest tend to be those who have deeply hurt others in the name of success and can no longer ignore their soul to do so.

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Entry filed under: Relationships, workplace. Tags: , .

International Happiness Day Emerging from the corporate cocoon

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lostintranslation11  |  July 18, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Ahhhh..the vicious truth in your words hits me right in my gut! I, too, am utterly shocked at this concept. It does seem to be the standard thought toward the “nice people”. I have a beautiful, strong friend who often says, “Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.” I LOVE that! I find it fascinating to hear that those who struggle the most are those who have done so much damage. That reinforces my agreement with you that I’d rather be kind at all costs. I can never reconcile within my soul the meanness I regularly encounter in others, even when I believe it’s justified or perhaps I’m in some way “entitled” to be hateful in return/response(as though that’s accurate!). I believe it means those of us who choose kindness unortunately DO set ourselves up for the brunt of that viciousness in the world and that’s a tough path to take at times, but I walk that path in love and fortunately with a clear conscience:-) Excellent post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and observations!!

    Reply
  • 2. anissastein  |  July 19, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    I love that quote – “do not mistake my kindness for weakness” – your friend is dead on! I, like you, would prefer to walk forward in this manner than to take the path which involves walking over others. My best to you!

    Reply

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