Archive for June 8, 2009

Interrupting our regularly scheduled broadcasting …

Thanks to WordPress, I can write my blog posts whenever an idea hits me and save it for later, or even schedule it to appear any time I want. I love this feature as sometimes, I will be driving and inspiration hits. Then later, I will write the blog post.  Or sometimes, I get hit with many inspirations, write them all, then schedule them for various dates in the future. Yes, I am a WordPress enthusiast! But that is another post all together.

I had actually written a few posts this past weekend for the upcoming week but right now, I must interrupt the flow and post immediately. Got a bit of a rant here that I want to share. Or at least release, because apparently, running up and down the stairs isn’t killing my thoughts!

I am sick to death of being pushed.  If you ever want me to turn around and head in the other direction, then just push me.  Push your agenda on me, tell me that you know it all, and whatever I say or know is irrelevant. That will surely turn me around. And away.  I am not asking you to agree with me, nor should I have to agree with you — it is called a conversation for a reason.

For some time now, I have been working with a coaching franchise in consideration of partnering with them.  Yes, I have my own coaching company and pleased with how things are going.  Yes, I have also lent my coaching services to another coaching organization in NYC that I am a raving fan for, as I love their values and mission. I would probably give away my coaching services to them but hey, I do need to eat.

So, why did I explore another partnership? Because I love coaching that much and if could be coaching 50 hours a week, I would be in heaven.  I know this is a dream for now, but if I can take steps so that these dreams come to fruition in 10, 20, or 30 years, so be it.  However, the more I learned of this partnership, the more I dislike the aggressive, pushy, “we know it all”, we are THE NUMBER ONE SUCCESSFUL COACHING company in the world (ye gads, if you have to repeatedly shout it at me, then I have to doubt it), and we know what we are doing more than anyone else. Really, ever hear of Marshall Goldsmith? I very much beg to differ on that one Mr. Know It All. But hey, no one hears Marshall Goldsmith touting how great he is and to me, that makes all the difference in the world.

This person talked about learning styles, then violated the basic idea of this moments later when I brought up verbal overshadowing.  Then he talked about trying to get clients to stop thinking “I know” and to start thinking “that’s interesting” but when I tried to share what I thought was interesting, I got back more of his own “I know”, which is again, hypocritical of his company’s message. Interestingly, he started the session over twenty minutes late and said that since we had had conversations prior, the session would be more conversational. Again, not accurate.  I could barely get in any comments or thoughts, without being interrupted.  I should have been prepared for that when he continually interrupted his own peer, the very person I would actually partner with.

How does that saying go by Ralph Waldo Emerson  — What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.  Well, all the things he was doing told me all I needed to know about my desire to continue the conversation, which was to not continue it.  As a coach, regardless of niche, this is NOT the way I want my profession to be reflected in the marketplace nor a company I ever want to be associated.   When you are presented with situations like this, do you hold firm to who you are?

June 8, 2009 at 4:52 pm 1 comment

Naturally you ..

I came across some old files the other day from undergrad days.  I read some of the essays I had written for both the graduate program and assistantships I was in the midst of applying  to at the time.

What struck me was my emphasis, even at 22, on positivity, feedback, coaching, and serving others when it came to my style of leadership.  I actually used the words positivity and building positive organizations.  It doesn’t happen too often that I shock myself, but I was pretty astounded to find evidence that I have long since thought this way as a leader and my examples in the essays reflected it.

As I have learned more about the various styles of leadership that exist and learned more from leaders I have come into contact, I am grateful for this insight into my natural belief of what makes a great leader and how I fit into it.   I still haven’t learned how or when I became this type of leader or if it is just a natural extension of my personality. Regardless, my validation of myself as a leader of merit, despite my giving nature in the workplace, has become cemented.

As a person and leader, I think it important to share your appreciation of others’ work, give feedback whenever you can, coach others to greater heights, be fun, and create a positive environment. In essence, if you aren’t successful, than I cannot be. Now, knowing that this is something I have practiced and believed for the better part of twenty years, I don’t feel like I am just jumping on the positivity or positive psychology bandwagon of late. I am just being my natural me.

Who or what is your natural you?  Are you still living it?

June 8, 2009 at 7:14 am 2 comments


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