Archive for June, 2009

Do you want a flat stomach?

funny-pictures-cat-has-a-flat-stomachWell, that picture appears to have the answer (courtesy of my fave dose of daily laughter)!  All you need to do is position yourself so that you smush your stomach and all is taken care of. Ta da!

Am I the only one who thinks that all of these ads  on Google, Facebook, spam emails, etc. to flatten your stomach are ridiculous?  Hasn’t the world pretty much refuted the success of diets, quick-loss schemes, and other fads?  We are a nation that is fatter than ever. This stuff isn’t working folks! So apparently, buying into the hype is just that – buying!  Save your money and love yourself just the way you are.

Laugh more. Live more. Enjoy more.  That is what life is about, not about the quest for the flattest stomach.

June 9, 2009 at 9:15 am 4 comments

Interrupting our regularly scheduled broadcasting …

Thanks to WordPress, I can write my blog posts whenever an idea hits me and save it for later, or even schedule it to appear any time I want. I love this feature as sometimes, I will be driving and inspiration hits. Then later, I will write the blog post.  Or sometimes, I get hit with many inspirations, write them all, then schedule them for various dates in the future. Yes, I am a WordPress enthusiast! But that is another post all together.

I had actually written a few posts this past weekend for the upcoming week but right now, I must interrupt the flow and post immediately. Got a bit of a rant here that I want to share. Or at least release, because apparently, running up and down the stairs isn’t killing my thoughts!

I am sick to death of being pushed.  If you ever want me to turn around and head in the other direction, then just push me.  Push your agenda on me, tell me that you know it all, and whatever I say or know is irrelevant. That will surely turn me around. And away.  I am not asking you to agree with me, nor should I have to agree with you — it is called a conversation for a reason.

For some time now, I have been working with a coaching franchise in consideration of partnering with them.  Yes, I have my own coaching company and pleased with how things are going.  Yes, I have also lent my coaching services to another coaching organization in NYC that I am a raving fan for, as I love their values and mission. I would probably give away my coaching services to them but hey, I do need to eat.

So, why did I explore another partnership? Because I love coaching that much and if could be coaching 50 hours a week, I would be in heaven.  I know this is a dream for now, but if I can take steps so that these dreams come to fruition in 10, 20, or 30 years, so be it.  However, the more I learned of this partnership, the more I dislike the aggressive, pushy, “we know it all”, we are THE NUMBER ONE SUCCESSFUL COACHING company in the world (ye gads, if you have to repeatedly shout it at me, then I have to doubt it), and we know what we are doing more than anyone else. Really, ever hear of Marshall Goldsmith? I very much beg to differ on that one Mr. Know It All. But hey, no one hears Marshall Goldsmith touting how great he is and to me, that makes all the difference in the world.

This person talked about learning styles, then violated the basic idea of this moments later when I brought up verbal overshadowing.  Then he talked about trying to get clients to stop thinking “I know” and to start thinking “that’s interesting” but when I tried to share what I thought was interesting, I got back more of his own “I know”, which is again, hypocritical of his company’s message. Interestingly, he started the session over twenty minutes late and said that since we had had conversations prior, the session would be more conversational. Again, not accurate.  I could barely get in any comments or thoughts, without being interrupted.  I should have been prepared for that when he continually interrupted his own peer, the very person I would actually partner with.

How does that saying go by Ralph Waldo Emerson  — What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.  Well, all the things he was doing told me all I needed to know about my desire to continue the conversation, which was to not continue it.  As a coach, regardless of niche, this is NOT the way I want my profession to be reflected in the marketplace nor a company I ever want to be associated.   When you are presented with situations like this, do you hold firm to who you are?

June 8, 2009 at 4:52 pm 1 comment

Naturally you ..

I came across some old files the other day from undergrad days.  I read some of the essays I had written for both the graduate program and assistantships I was in the midst of applying  to at the time.

What struck me was my emphasis, even at 22, on positivity, feedback, coaching, and serving others when it came to my style of leadership.  I actually used the words positivity and building positive organizations.  It doesn’t happen too often that I shock myself, but I was pretty astounded to find evidence that I have long since thought this way as a leader and my examples in the essays reflected it.

As I have learned more about the various styles of leadership that exist and learned more from leaders I have come into contact, I am grateful for this insight into my natural belief of what makes a great leader and how I fit into it.   I still haven’t learned how or when I became this type of leader or if it is just a natural extension of my personality. Regardless, my validation of myself as a leader of merit, despite my giving nature in the workplace, has become cemented.

As a person and leader, I think it important to share your appreciation of others’ work, give feedback whenever you can, coach others to greater heights, be fun, and create a positive environment. In essence, if you aren’t successful, than I cannot be. Now, knowing that this is something I have practiced and believed for the better part of twenty years, I don’t feel like I am just jumping on the positivity or positive psychology bandwagon of late. I am just being my natural me.

Who or what is your natural you?  Are you still living it?

June 8, 2009 at 7:14 am 2 comments

Do you ever wonder why …

  • life can’t be easier?
  • people don’t smile more than they do?
  • opening a door for another isn’t very common anymore?
  • men feel the need to NOT walk through a door that a woman has opened for them?
  • people can’t just say thank you when you compliment them?
  • love is battlefield?
  • all’s fair in love and war?
  • time goes by so fast when you don’t want it to but is slow as molasses when you do?
  • forgiving is so hard but it’s so beneficial?
  • we forget the happy things but more easily remember the negative?
  • there are debates over man’s best friend?
  • people just can’t get along?
  • someone uses information against you when they claim to be your friend?
  • others don’t take responsibility for their actions?
  • people gossip?
  • we become our parents even though we swear we won’t?
  • people hurt animals? or children?
  • there are so many choices for everything?
  • more people don’t live a life they want?
  • some people are so argumentative?
  • reading isn’t more popular?
  • we talk about the weather so much?
  • we all can’t just love and appreciate each other EXACTLY as we are?
  • we ask why so darn much?

June 4, 2009 at 8:02 pm 3 comments

The World of One

I am putting this out there in the ether so that everyone knows I said it and I can’t back down later.  When, not if, I write my first book, The World Of One will be the title.  Not a single title close to this on Amazon.com – wahoo!!! Anyway, I have a great idea, an outline, and some rough notes, all mostly in my head.  Have I actually written the book? Well, no.  It’s on my short list of things to do this summer. The idea has been percolating for a while now and it’s time. I finally feel ready. What took so long?  Who knows.  When the writer is ready, the words will come??

I figure the only way to ensure that I will continue on the path toward this goal of mine is to share it with the world (or the small piece I inhabit).  I am also considering sharing excerpts. If you are interested in reading pieces of the book along the way, let me know. I will take any and all feedback I can get.  As a writer, I tend to have varying opinions about my work. At times, I am very pleased. Other times, I find myself to be disjointed, lacking sense or logic.  Regardless, I have come to truly appreciate when others share their constructive comments, tell me I completely lost them in the middle of that paragraph, or that I “spoke” to them. I need that outside, objective perspective.

The World of One.  More to come ……

June 3, 2009 at 12:01 am Leave a comment

You can do anything. Yes, YOU!

I have heard many comments lately that make me wonder. Some of the comments have been something like this:

  • I can’t leave my job right now.  The economy is horrible.
  • I am stuck working for an incompetent boss.
  • My company’s benefits and perks are too good to leave but I am bored out of my mind.
  • I can’t stand my life.
  • I wish I were thinner/more fit/healthier.
  • etc etc etc

All I hear is can’t and won’t in those statements and when I ask for more detail about what choices they do have, the same response comes back “I don’t have a choice, I am stuck”.  Really?  No choice at all?  Interesting.

What I really think is you are making excuses. You are choosing the path of least resistance. You are copping out due to your insecurities, your ambivalence and the fear of the unknown.  All ridiculous reasons to just stay put.  How’s that? I am too harsh? I don’t think so at all.  Nothing in this world ever came from maintaining the status quo.  Are you choosing happiness or are you choosing safety?  Without curiosity and a little bit of anxiety, how would you even know you were alive?

I think you can do anything you want to. But YOU have to want to.  Quick whining and moaning, bitching and complaining. We don’t mind hearing it the first time or two, but after you do nothing and keep on the same mindless track, we find the refrain intolerable.  Don’t mistake this for indifference or a lack of caring. I care a great deal, even for people I barely know or have just met, say in an airport for example.  But if you aren’t going to help yourself, why should I remain invested in your plight?

June 2, 2009 at 3:59 pm Leave a comment

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