Do you have a voice?

August 10, 2009 at 1:13 pm 6 comments

I know, you are thinking, of course I have a voice. Duh, Anissa.  I don’t mean your physical voice that you use to speak with every day. I am referring to the voice in your head.  Do you have one? Is it positive? Negative? Reassuring? Nagging? Doubtful?

Do you know your voice well? Do you listen to it?  What does it tell you? Do you agree or disagree, or do you resign yourself to listening?

I used to have the most pessimistic, negative voice in my head. It was always telling me how worthless, inconsequential, and useless I was.  My voice was not at all reassuring or positive or encouraging of me at all. There was not an ounce of support from my voice, ever.  Interestingly, I could be extremely positive, encouraging, supportive and reassuring for others.  Shoot, I could do that a 1000x over for someone else. Sometimes for people I barely knew!  But for myself, nope, negative all the way.

This was the voice I lived with growing up and into early adulthood.  Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there.  Around the time I turned 30, I started to realize that the problem was not external factors like family, or work, or friends, but within me.  I was an adult now. I was married with a mortgage.  The choices I made were mine now and could not be blamed externally anymore.  That ole victim mentality needed to go and so did that negative voice that told me I was a worthless human who didn’t deserve to be on this planet; neither was a helpful way to go about living.

Taking on these two issues is pretty big but I can tell you that after almost nine years, I no longer blame others for anything or everything that goes wrong in my world.  I must admit, not much goes wrong anymore, but when it does, I look at myself and start wondering where I went wrong so I don’t repeat the mistake.  If need be, I apologize if what I did affected someone else. That alone was something I never did growing up, ever. I would be defensive and avoid ever saying I was sorry. I also never told people that I cared about them or loved them. Now, if I feel it, I say it.  Everyone should know that they are loved and appreciated.

As for the voice in my head, it’s no longer harsh with me.  On rare occasions, Negative Nelly will come out and try to play, but it never lasts long.  The voice in my head is very close to what I believe in my heart.  I am someone who deserves to be here. I do have a life worth living. I am someone who matters in this world. I may not always know my purpose, but I have enjoyed the exploration!  The voice in my head has been a great guide for me over the past few years and because of it, I listen more and more. I don’t know about you, but my inner voice is more aligned with me than ever before and believe it has helped me to become a more contented person.

So, do you have a voice? What does it tell you?

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Entry filed under: Miscellania, Relationships, thoughts, well-being, Who is?. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Lives of quiet desperation Are you uncommon?

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. charles0908  |  September 19, 2009 at 8:50 am

    Interesting

    have a look at my blog: http://charles0908.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • 2. anissastein  |  September 19, 2009 at 9:35 am

      Thank you for sharing your blog! I will be an ongoing reader, Anissa

      Reply
  • 3. charles0908  |  September 19, 2009 at 9:37 am

    Ah! Thanks a lot.
    Do you really have an inner voice in your head?

    Charles

    Reply
  • 4. anissastein  |  September 19, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Yes, I do. I think we all do. It’s that voice that sometimes thinks things about other people that you don’t give voice to. In my case, it used to be negative about me. Now it’s now. I don’t think ‘that was really stupid Anissa’ instead I think ‘that didn’t work out so well, try something else’.

    Reply
  • 5. charles0908  |  September 19, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    That’s interesting.
    Do you know anything about psychology?

    If you don’t you can follow my novel in here, you may learn something…

    check out my homepage: http://www.illioscoaching.com

    Charles

    Reply
  • 6. anissastein  |  September 20, 2009 at 8:56 am

    I got my BA in psychology and still follow the research, etc. A blog I follow for example is: http://www.psychologicalscience.org/onlyhuman/index.cfm Thanks for sharing your homepage.

    Reply

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