Desire is a feeling

September 22, 2009 at 8:52 am 5 comments

How many of you have seen the ads on tv for the new show The Good Wife? The premise is one we are all too familiar with right now (and for decades).  A politician, married with children, has affairs and dalliances on the side. He is found out, must confess and be contrite at a press conference. His wife stands next to him, tacitly giving him forgiveness.  How many times have we seen this, or a derivation, recently – Edwards? Sanford? Ensign? I could keep naming names but why bother.

What bothers me about this situation is that what you sometimes hear after the fact is ‘it didn’t mean anything, it was just sex’. This response always interests me.  At some point, there had to be desire or the affair wouldn’t have occurred. Isn’t desire a feeling?  And if you have a feeling, doesn’t that mean it meant something, even if it was fleeting?  The affair descends into lying, deceit, betrayal, and of course, the cheating itself.  It also starts and ends with desire. Desire for another woman. Desire for enjoyment. Desire to have your cake and eat it too.  It seems to me it’s not “just” about sex.

Could you really forgive and forget? Could you really move on if that happened in your marriage? Would you stand by your man? It’s an interesting premise for a show.  Too bad there are many people out there living this very real situation.


Entry filed under: Miscellania, Relationships, television, thoughts. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

what makes a great gift? Metaphor for Life

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ken Kendall  |  September 22, 2009 at 9:03 am

    I totally agree.

    But I am also worried about the thought that if it is only sex than it is not that bad. Having sex with anybody connects you. There is no reality in pretending that sex is not a big deal.

    I write a blog all about how men can better love their wives. I would love for you to take a look and give me your comments and feedback.


    • 2. anissastein  |  September 22, 2009 at 9:06 am

      Thanks for your comments! I read quite a few of your posts – fantastic blog and your ideas are great. I am definitely hooked!

  • 3. Jo Flores  |  September 28, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Whether or not sex is involved, once you start deceiving your wife, there’s an issue that needs to be resolved. If you thought sex wasn’t so bad, you wouldn’t be lying about it or hiding it. Clearly, there was some shame involved, so to pretend that it’s just a physical reaction is hypocritical.

    You might want to check out our online magazine, we talk a lot about these sorts of issues (along with a lot of others!)

    • 4. anissastein  |  September 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm

      Thank you for sharing your perspective and your online magazine; very appreciated! Anissa

  • 5. Online Stock Trading  |  October 16, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Hey, I found your blog while searching on Google. I have a blog on online stock trading, I’ll bookmark your site.


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