Archive for November, 2010

How’s your brain doing?

My mom shared this with me and I enjoyed it. Maybe because I did well!

Short Neurological Test

Part 1
1- Find the C below. Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
6999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999

3 – Now find the N below. It’s a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you’re far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer. Congratulations!

Part 2
eoenvrye that can raed this rsaie your hnad.

To my ‘selected’ strange-minded friends:
If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with ‘yes’ in the subject line.

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too

Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

November 29, 2010 at 9:12 am 1 comment

Happiness and Gratitude

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.  He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.”  There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning?  What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth.  I said what you said but in a different way.” I wrote: “Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.
The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.  Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have.
Be creative.  Be innovative.  Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show Life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.  Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!

November 26, 2010 at 9:17 am 2 comments

Turkey Humor

A young man named Joe received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Joe tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently using only polite words, playing soft music and doing anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, Joe was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Joe shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. Joe, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, Joe quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Joe’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

Joe was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

November 25, 2010 at 9:08 am 1 comment

Paraprosdokian Humor

Paraprosdokian Sentences

A “paraprosdokian” is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

a.. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat
you with experience.
b.. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car.
c.. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
d.. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
e.. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
f.. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
g.. War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
h.. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.
i.. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
j.. Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed
to tell you why it isn’t.
k.. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
l.. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops. My desk is a work station.
m.. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
n.. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can
train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
o.. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
p.. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you
don’t need it.
q.. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an
emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”
r.. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
s.. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
t.. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America?
u.. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
v.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
w.. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.
x.. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
y.. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
z.. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you will look forward to the trip.
aa.. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you
wish they were.
ab.. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.
ac.. I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by
a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
ad.. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
ae.. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
can’t get away.
af.. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
ag.. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
usually uses water.
ah.. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
ai.. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
aj.. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as
when you are in it.
ak.. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people
have more than one child?
al.. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

November 24, 2010 at 1:07 pm Leave a comment


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